| feelin like shyt today, felt wrong..a lie- dont know how or what to say. Dont know how to feel.. dont know how to react. i feel at a great lost within myself, disappointment, regret why so uptight? -cant do shyt right..alwaysz a fuckin issue in my eyesz , so much pride why? for what? cant feel touch or even see what the fuck is right in front of me. im ready to give up -everything ..ready to not give a shyt and go off wit it. got no ambitions [good nor bad] ..what little i had. wha i held on to now is shyt - stomped on my everything - gone vanished so fast, too quickly to grasp. had a dream had hope had peoplesz behind me -i had U- now where are you? loosin faith. got nottin of enjoyment, and yes juss cuz i smile or maybe even laugh still dont make a damn thing funny. - everything the fuck around me is a disaster in the makin, takin everyonesz shyt and turn around to find who? - me lookin into a mirror and pointin the finger in that reflection - ima blame no one but me. happy? goin thru a difficult stage, so hard to stay at least some wha tamed. "i dont care" now - fuck it just lie to me-pretend if you have to. wont give a fuck - all realationshipsz feelin like a bomb waitin to explode.- waitin for a great failure - wait for the pain to juss get it over with ...- something so beautiful turnin into something so ugly -"cant say i aint have it comin" - can i? get no real luv from the peoplesz u thought was cool - you keep givin and people keep taken- once you stop givin shyt flipsz on you. people change - usually for the worst.
i want i need - buh i give up ...lookin back on shyt and pitty, i give in -lord help me stop this shyt - dont wanna hurt no more, just a moment of clarity and hold on to as bliss. - but life keepsz goin with or without u. + karma wont be enough today or even compared with my want for it to backfire my pain to those -cant make up my mind with these two in me. One wants revenge and the other the desire to love - two "thoughtsz" wont eva agree. wanna fall the fuck baq_wha a hard fall it would be, especially with no one underneath. - the truth is wha burnsz, what hurtsz wha doesn leave me. - itsz been real ... real bad -damn emotionsz are juss excusses like "im sorry"- just a sound that im tired of hearing ..such simple wordsz explain such complex feelingg..
-love is something i dont know [yet] love is my suspense book - pain is something i grew into ... not anymore ...not from you, not from anyone, how much longer until I dissappear? when will i have the courage to do so? -help me run cuz im sinkin -quickly..help me out, out so far away, and give me the courage to say --no more , no fuckin more .
.. catchin my own fall.. i wanna be there for me.. -- have so many of these thoughtsz racin, buh when i pick my head, and think about wha i juss said - i know i care too much and i fuckin love you... |
